


This Is Not A Love Story (Except It Kind Of Is)

by lit_chick08



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Sex, Babyfic, Crack, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lit_chick08/pseuds/lit_chick08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was supposed to be their uncle someday, but Klaus ruined everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Not A Love Story (Except It Kind Of Is)

The social worker came two days after the funeral with the estate attorney.

Alaric was making breakfast for Jeremy, and Elena was still upstairs when the doorbell rang. Both he and Jeremy were expecting it to be yet another resident of Mystic Falls coming to drop off a casserole, and, when Alaric saw the somber faces of the man and woman on the doorstep, he wasn’t sure what to expect.

The attorney explained that Jenna had not left a will (to which Alaric wanted to spit, “Of course she didn’t; she was only 27”) and neither had John; because all next-of-kin was now deceased and a guardian had not been designated, Elena and Jeremy were potentially able to be taken into the custody of the state of Virginia unless someone stepped forward to offer guardianship.

“Elena will be eighteen in six months,” the attorney explained, “but Jeremy is still two years away from being legal. A legal guardian and a conservator for their parents’ estate needs to be appointed.”

Alaric always wanted to be a father, but he hadn’t imagined the opportunity would present itself with two grieving teenagers. Nonetheless, he found himself signing papers, agreeing to background checks, and scheduling dates for home visits before he was even really cognizant of what he was doing.

Jeremy has gone to Bonnie’s by the time Elena comes downstairs, shuffling as if she is sleepwalking. He offered to make her something to eat, but she shook her head, picking up a muffin one of the neighbors brought over.

“What did the lawyer want?” she asked, picking a blueberry out of the muffin with an almost surgical precision.

He laid out what he had been told, explaining how, for all intents and purposes, he was to be the man in charge of keeping Jeremy and her safe. Her face gave away nothing as he spoke, and, when he finished, he anxiously waited for some sort of response.

Finally Elena sighed, “Well, I figured it was either going to be you or Damon, and at least this way I don’t have to worry about finding bimbos in the bathroom.”

Alaric chuckled. “So you’re okay with this?”

She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

And then she shuffled back upstairs like a zombie.

* * *

The first clue Alaric had that being their guardian was not going to be easy came a month after he had officially been designated the Gilberts’ legal guardian by Family Services. 

He was at the boardinghouse having a drink with Damon, bullshitting about nothing in particular, when his cell began to ring. Not recognizing the number, he debated ignoring it before reminding himself that he was technically a parent now; he could no longer avoid phone calls when he did not want to talk.

“Hello?”

“Alaric? This is Liz Forbes.”

Alaric felt his heart stop. “What can I do for you, Liz?”

“I wish I was calling with better news but I just picked up Elena at the Grill; somehow she managed to get served, she’s _very_ drunk, and she was causing a disturbance.”

“Is she under arrest?” he asked as Damon’s eyebrows nearly arched off of his face.

“No but she’s going to need picked up.” Voice softening, she acknowledged, “I can only imagine how hard it’s been for her lately.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he promised even as he got to his feet.

Damon remained seated, setting his sifter of bourbon on the table beside him. “Well, looks like she’s finally starting to break.”

Alaric began to dig through his pockets for his keys. “What?” 

“Oh, c’mon, Ric. You didn’t think she was _that_ well-adjusted? It was only a matter of time before she completely lost her shit. Stefan thought she had another month in her; I put money on her losing it two weeks ago.”

“You were _betting_ on her having a breakdown?”

Damon scoffed. “We didn’t put money on it or start a pool but pretty much. Live as long as us, you can kind of tell when people are barely holding it together. Plus she won’t talk to anyone so…” He held out his hands as if to prove his point.

Alaric sighed as he tugged his keys free from his pocket. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go bail out Elena.”

“Worst guardian ever!” Damon teased as he left the house.

By the time Alaric reached the Mystic Falls Police Department, he had already formulated the speech he would give Elena about the incident. As he assured Liz Forbes this would not happen again, Alaric could not suppress the shock on his face as the deputy brought Elena from the back.

In a pair of skin tight skinny jeans and a cleavage bearing tank top, she looked more like Katherine than she did herself, especially when coupled with the curls in her hair and heavy make-up. She teetered on ridiculously high heels, and, when she saw him, she exhaled sharply.

“I told you to call Stefan,” she snapped at Liz, startling Alaric with the impatience in her voice. He had never heard Elena sound so…unfriendly.

“And I told you Stefan was not your guardian,” Liz replied mildly.

Elena huffed with a roll of her eyes, and Alaric suddenly had an almost irresistible urge to shake her. He had never seen Elena behave so poorly, so _selfishly_ , and Alaric hated her in that moment.

She was quiet the entire drive back to the house, her head drowsily bouncing, and Alaric wanted to yell at her, all of his pre-planned, empathetic words slipping away the closer they got the house. When they crossed the threshold, Elena immediately headed towards the kitchen, kicking her heels off as she did so. Alaric followed, taking a deep breath and bracing himself for what was about to happen.

“Elena, we need to talk.”

She pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and shook her head. “No, we don’t.”

“Elena – “

Irritated, Elena slammed the refrigerator door shut, whirling around with fury in her eyes. “You are _not_ my father, so stop acting like you are!”

Alaric felt his temper rising, the frustration of the past few months bubbling towards the surface. “No, I’m the guy who had to pick your drunk ass up at the police station!”

Elena briefly recoiled at the edge to his words, and Alaric almost apologized until she smirked, so thoroughly Katherine in that moment it was eerie. “I _know_ the guy responsible for the Grill setting the drink _maximum_ is not lecturing me on drinking.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he snapped, stepping into her personal space, muscles tense. “Can’t you see that I’m doing what I do because I care about you?”

“Well, don’t!” Elena all but screamed into his face. “Don’t you know by now that caring about me is fucking _fatal_?!”

And then she pushed past him, wobbling unsteadily, leaving Alaric alone to think about her declaration.

* * *

They fought constantly.

As he and Jeremy became closer, he and Elena constantly clashed over everything. Alaric found himself dreading whenever Elena would come through the doors, knowing even the smallest of events could lead to yet another knockdown drag-out. He swore to himself every day he would not allow himself to be sucked into another fight, that he would not allow himself to get riled by whatever disrespectful or rude behavior Elena displayed that day, but, like clockwork, he found himself shouting back.

Alaric began to hate the sight of her. He was doing everything he could to keep her and Jeremy’s lives as normal as possible, to do for them what Jenna had done, and she served as a constant reminder he was disappointing her, disappointing Jenna’s memory. Alaric had always been willing to care for Elena and Jeremy, but he had never thought he was going to be doing it alone; he had pictured himself as their cool uncle, the guy who bought them their first drink of their 21st birthdays and told them inappropriate jokes. He had never wanted to be the closest thing they had to a father, to be the only person they had left.

On the Thursday night when everything came to a head, Alaric was grading papers at the kitchen table when Elena stumbled in, once again reeking of alcohol. As she dropped her coat on the kitchen counter, Alaric took a deep breath and said, “Elena, we need to talk.”

She scoffed. “We _really_ don’t.”

“Your guidance counselor stopped me today and she said you’re failing calculus.”

Elena shrugged with disinterest.

“We’re not even a month into the semester,” he pointed out as he got to his feet and crossed to the kitchen. “How are you supposed to get into college if you’re failing your classes?”

“Maybe I just won’t go to college.”

Alaric exhaled sharply. “Do you really think that Jenna – “

“Don’t say her name!” Elena cut in, eyes swelling with tears, her finger poking into Alaric’s chest. “Don’t try to use her to make your point!”

“You wouldn’t be acting like this if she was here.”

“Well, she _isn’t_ here! And nobody asked _you_ to be here, so why don’t you just stay out of my way?!”

As Elena attempted to brush by him, Alaric reflexively grabbed her bicep, jerking her back in place. He did not know why he did it; he knew screaming would fix nothing and, as much as he wanted to, he wouldn’t hit her. Alaric knew intellectually Elena was hurting, that she blamed herself for what had happened to Jenna; he understood the complexities of grief and the way it could make you a person you never imagined being. After all, he never would have come to Mystic Falls if it was not for the grief he felt after losing Isobel.

But the less evolved part of him, the part which was missing Jenna as acutely as Elena, did not want to consider what she was going through; instead, he wanted to do nothing more than shake her for being so ungrateful, so completely unable to appreciate how difficult this was for anyone else.

Elena struggled for a moment in an attempt to shake him free, but Alaric held fast, lowering his face so they were eye to eye, gritting out, “Knock it off.”

“Make me,” she challenged.

Alaric wasn’t sure who initiated the kiss, but it was bruising in force, lips mashing hatefully as teeth tugged. He tasted iron in his mouth, and Alaric pushed her back against the refrigerator with enough force to make her cry out before coming back at him, fingers jerking at the front of his shirt, buttons coming free and skittering across the floor.

Alaric hoisted her up and instantly Elena’s legs encircled his waist as he turned them, setting her atop the kitchen counter. Impatiently, he jerked down the leggings she wore as her hands ripped open his jeans, and Alaric knew this was going too far, that there would be no going back, but it did not stop him from sheathing himself inside of her atop the counter where he had made Jeremy breakfast earlier in the day.

Their hips met in a brutal rhythm, and Alaric knew he should be concerned with whether or not he was hurting her, but he couldn’t, not when she was pulling his hair and sinking her teeth into his shoulder.

Alaric was blindsided by his orgasm, and he groaned his selfish pleasure into Elena’s hair as her heels bit into the small of his back, an unsatisfied cry slipping from her lips, indignation written all over her pretty face. His hand slips between their bodies instinctively, finding her swollen clit; it took only the barest of pressure to make her tremble, and Alaric had never felt worse in his life.

They didn’t speak as they separated, Elena wincing as she slid from the counter top, pulling up her leggings as Alaric fastened his jeans. He noticed he had torn the neckline of the dress she wore, and shame nearly overpowered him as he attempted to right his now ruined shirt.

For the next week, they did not speak.

* * *

“Can we talk?”

Alaric looked up at the sound of Elena’s voice in the doorway of his bedroom and struggled not to flinch. “Of course.”

Elena stepped inside, carefully keeping her distance from him, taking a seat at the desk which had once held Jenna’s thesis work and now was burdened down by sixty US History tests. “I need to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“For what happened last week.”

Alaric felt himself flush in embarrassment. “Elena – “

“Please, just let me…” She shook her head, exhaling shakily. “I know you think I don’t appreciate what you’ve done over the last few months, but I do. You didn’t have to step up and offer to be our guardian; we’re nothing to you and you weren’t dating Jenna that long, and I know the only reason you stayed is because you’re a good guy.” Blinking back tears, she continued, “But the thing is, every time I see you, it’s like I forget for just a minute that Jenna’s gone. So when I come downstairs and you’re making Jeremy breakfast, I think maybe she’s in the shower or she already left for school, and it’s like seeing her die all over again when it sinks in that she’s never coming back.”

“Elena…”

“You and Jeremy lost her because of _me_ , and I hate how you both pretend that isn’t the case.”

“Because it _isn’t_ ,” Alaric argued. “Klaus killed Jenna because – “

“Because of me!”

“Because he’s a sadistic bastard,” he corrected. 

She shook her head, wiping at the stray tears on her cheeks. “If I wasn’t who I was, Jenna would still be here. And I just…I _need_ you to be angry at me, to hate me, because I’m the reason you lost another woman you love.”

Alaric got off of the bed, crouching down in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Elena, listen to me. I do not blame you for what happened, and I do not want to hate you. Jenna loved you, and she wouldn’t want you punishing yourself like this. She wasn’t that sort of person, and we both know that.”

“I don’t know how to move past this,” she confessed, tears falling freely now. “I don’t like who I’m becoming, but I don’t think I can live feeling like this.”

“How about we make a deal?” Alaric suggested, wiping at her cheek. “We’ll start all over, okay? And when you’re angry or you’re hurt, you’ll talk to me, and I’ll do the same. But there won’t be anymore drinking or screaming or…”

“Angry hate sex on the counter?” she finished, an embarrassed smirk on her face.

Alaric could not help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire situation. “Right.”

“So we can really start over?”

He nodded. “Fresh start,” he vowed.

If there was anything Alaric knew with any certainty, it was there was no such thing as a fresh start.

* * *

For the next two months, life became peaceful. Elena started to return to the person she had been before the sacrifice, Jeremy made the honor roll, and Alaric started to truly believe he could do this. 

Alaric had no idea what exactly was being celebrated at Founders’ Hall, but he had dutifully donned his suit and accompanied Elena and Jeremy. There was something comforting about the never-ending parade of Founders’ events; Alaric suspected, even if the world was ending around them, there would still be a Masquerade Ball or a Founders’ Day kick-off party.

He was in the middle of a conversation with Carol Lockwood when he glimpsed Elena across the room. In her blue sheath dress, all of her dark hair gathered into an elaborate updo, she looked far older than seventeen as she laughed at something Caroline said. As Tyler began to gesture emphatically, Elena’s gaze flitted towards him, and Alaric could not help but smile at her. A light blush filled her cheeks as she smiled back, pulling the corner of her mouth between her teeth, and Alaric was startled by how strongly he _wanted_ her in that moment.

Alaric had never been attracted to Elena. He could appreciate how beautiful she was, and he certainly enjoyed her company, but it had never been sexual. Even when they had actually _had_ sex, it had not come from a place of attraction or lust; it had been about frustration, desperation, and punishment. Alaric was not the sort of man who lusted after teenagers, and he certainly did not want to be the sort of man who lusted after a teenager whose wellbeing he was responsible for.

And yet, as their eyes lingered on each other, Alaric wanted nothing more than to touch and be touched by Elena Gilbert.

Damon was right; he was the worst guardian _ever_.

* * *

“Leaving without me?”

Alaric paused, surprised to see Elena crossing the parking lot. “I thought you were staying at the boardinghouse tonight.”

“Stefan and Caroline are going fox hunting.”

“Fox hunting?” he echoed.

She held up her hands. “I don’t ask questions. But Jer said he’s going to stay at Bonnie’s tonight, so…I need a ride.”

They drove home in silence, Elena fiddling with the radio as he navigated the streets of Mystic Falls. When they entered the house, Alaric was surprised when Elena caught him by the wrist, stilling his movement. He looked down at her, confusion and fear rushing through his veins, and Elena steadily met his gaze, her intentions clear.

“We can’t do this,” he murmured even as his hands rose to cup her face.

“I know,” she whispered, loosening the knot of his tie.

They made love in her bed, the moonlight streaming in through the window, Elena’s nails biting briefly into his shoulders as she came. Afterwards, as they lied entangled in her sheets, Alaric struggled to avoid looking at the photo of Jenna tucked neatly into the frame of Elena’s mirror.

* * *

They never discussed what was happening between them. There was no acknowledgment of the shift in their relationship, no conversations about why they were doing something so obviously unhealthy. Every time Alaric swore it would be the last, and every time he could not resist the way she’d kiss him so sweetly or breathe his name as if it was the very best secret she had ever known.

There was no rhyme or reason to their couplings. They had only one unspoken rule, and it was nothing happened while Jeremy was in the house. When Jeremy was there, they were a family, unconventional as it may be; they ate dinner together, reinstituted Family Night, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Alaric made dinner most nights and sometimes Stefan and Bonnie would join them, the very picture of normalcy; sometimes Damon would show up, other times Caroline and Tyler would come over, and they were an extended family bound together by everything which had happened in the past year.

But when they were alone, everything changed. Sometimes it was premeditated; he would find a text message waiting on his phone with a time, and he would enter the house to find her waiting. Usually it was spontaneous; a look or a casual touch could send them rushing over the edge, grasping hands and desperate mouths, clothes ruined in the heat of passion, tripping over each other as they’d stumble to the nearest flat surface.

Alaric never initiated anything; he always let Elena set the terms of their encounters, always gave her the power to stop it whenever she wanted.

He had lost any power he had long ago.

* * *

The rain pounded the windowpanes of Elena’s window as they recovered from their latest tryst. Alaric felt sleep pulling at him as Elena traced a random pattern on his chest, and his eyes had just closed when she softly breathed, “Do you think she hates us for this?”

He spent an inordinate amount of time wondering what Jenna’s opinion would be on what has transpired between him and her niece, and the conclusion he has always reached is that Jenna would have been able to forgive Elena; she never would have forgiven him.

“No,” he lied into her hair, “I think she’d understand.”

Elena turned onto her side, propping her head up on her elbow. Alaric mimicked her position, idly brushing a piece of hair back from her face, and it occurred to him this was the first time they had ever actually spoken of Jenna since this began.

“I kinda like you,” she admitted with a little chuckle, averting her gaze.

It would have been a ridiculous confession under different circumstances; they had been sleeping together for months now. But it was also the first time she had ever acknowledged this was something more than twisted grieving.

“I kinda like you,” he replied, familiar guilt licking at him.

Elena nodded before stating, “I know this can’t ever be anything; I’m not delusional. I just…I love Stefan.”

“I know.”

“I know we have to stop this.”

“Right.”

“I just don’t want to.”

Alaric said nothing, afraid his confession of feeling the same way would only muddy the waters ever further.

* * *

The night which changed everything started like any other. Alaric got up, went to school, and then went to Founders’ Hall for a meeting of the Founders’ Council; he still wasn’t entirely sure how he had ended up on the Council but he was fairly certain it involved too much bourbon and Damon’s powers of persuasion.

After the meeting, he and Damon went to the Grill, pounding back bourbon as they discussed nothing in particular. By the time they settled up their bill, Alaric knew he was drunk; as Damon began to hit on the attractive blonde sitting beside them, Alaric walked home, the world leaning slightly.

Elena was doing laundry, her hair gathered in a messy bun, a pair of pajama pants hanging low on her hips, a tight tank top emphasizing her curves. As she closed the washer, twisting the knobs, Alaric slipped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her firmly against him. Elena froze momentarily before relaxing into his embrace, craning her neck as he peppered wet, open mouthed kisses to her neck.

“You scared me,” she murmured as his hand slipped beneath the hem of her tank top, sliding up her torso to cup her braless breasts.

“Sorry,” he replied before spinning her around and depositing her atop the washing machine, quickly divesting her of her tank top and pants, leaving her nude.

“Are you drunk?” Elena asked as she helped him remove his shirt, her feet pushing down the jeans he opened.

Alaric didn’t respond; instead, he tilted her back, his mouth finding her nipples as he worked her with his hand. Elena moaned as he slid two fingers inside of her, testing her readiness, and Alaric sighed against her stomach, “Do you want me?”

She nodded jerkily, twisting her hips in need, hands pulling at him. Alaric removed his fingers from her before pulling her hips to the edge of the washing machine, carefully entering her as Elena wrapped her arms around his neck.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked breathlessly as he paused inside of her, resting his forehead against her collarbone. 

“You have no idea how good you feel,” he rasped against her skin, kissing every inch of skin he came in contact with. “God, Elena…”

“Really?”

He heard the raw vulnerability in her voice, and, even through his drunken fog, it affected him deeply. And then, before he could consider the ramifications of his words, he began to talk, tongue loosened by the amount of alcohol he had ingested.

“Do you have any idea how much I want you? How much I think about you? I’m so in love with you, I can barely stand it.”

It wasn’t until the next morning Alaric realized what he had said to her.

* * *

They didn’t sleep together again for two months.

Alaric pretended he didn’t care.

Every night she spent at the boardinghouse, he drank himself to sleep.

* * *

Three weeks after Elena’s eighteenth birthday, Alaric was alone in his classroom during his free period when Elena entered. Immediately he was concerned; since becoming their guardian, Alaric rarely saw Elena or Jeremy during the school day, and he knew for a fact Elena had physics this period.

“Do you have a minute?”

Alaric nodded, gesturing for her to sit from behind his desk. Elena obediently slid into a desk in the front row, and Alaric couldn’t help but imagine how much easier his life would have been if Elena Gilbert had only ever been his student.

“I have a problem.”

“Well, we can figure something out. What’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words made time stop.

Finally, after an indeterminable length of time, Alaric could only manage, “You’re sure?”

Elena nodded. “I went to a clinic in Richmond after the home test was positive. The doctor said I’m about eight weeks, which makes sense.”

_The washing machine._ Alaric felt like vomiting.

“She said I’ll need to make a decision pretty soon if I don’t want to have it,” Elena continued with a disturbing amount of detachment, “but she also said I should talk to the father, and since you’re the father…”

_You’re the father._ Alaric had wanted to hear those words desperately during his marriage to Isobel, had idly considered what it would have been like to hear those words from Jenna. Those words were never supposed to slip past Elena’s lips.

“Is that what you want?”

Keeping her eyes downcast, in a voice so soft Alaric almost couldn’t hear her at all, she admitted, “I think I want to keep it.”

“’Keep it’ like not have an abortion or ‘keep it’ like raise it?”

Lifting her gaze, her eyes wet with tears, Elena sniffled, “I don’t want to be like John and Isobel. I don’t want someone else to raise my baby.”

Alaric rubbed at his face, trying to sort out his feelings, desperately trying to come up with the right thing to say, but all he could think of was how painful his death was going to be at the hands of the Salvatore brothers.

“But the thing is,” Elena rushed on, “we can’t let anyone know that we…that you and I…Jeremy needs you, and if people knew, everything would be ruined. He’d be alone again, and he doesn’t deserve that because of what I did.”

“Then what – “

“I’ll tell people it was some random guy from the Grill, that it was just a one night stand; it’ll break Stefan’s heart but…I don’t expect you to want this – “

“I’m not going to make you do this by yourself,” he objected. “You don’t have to – “

“Jeremy can never know about this!” she exclaimed sharply. “If he finds out, he’ll hate both of us, and then he’ll really be alone. I can’t live with that, Ric. Please don’t make me.”

He had never been able to deny her anything.

That was the problem.

* * *

“You realize you’re the worst fucking guardian in existence, right?” Damon asked a week later after Elena had told Stefan about the pregnancy.

Alaric drank until he blacked out.

* * *

Everyone in town believed the baby was Stefan’s. Alaric heard the whispers, fielded concerned questions from Carol Lockwood and Liz Forbes, but he wanted nothing to do with the gossip of Elena’s pregnancy. As her stomach grew beneath her clothing, Alaric only felt guiltier, the shame eating at him.

Stefan forgave her. Alaric had never doubted he would. The day Elena came home and told him and Jeremy she was moving into the boardinghouse, he wanted to object, to ask her to stay, to offer to do anything to make up for what had happened between them, but he couldn’t. Instead, he helped Stefan pack up her belongings as Elena and Jeremy talked downstairs.

“You know I’ll do anything for her,” Stefan stated as they finished the last of the boxes.

Alaric nodded. “Of course.”

“I just don’t want you to worry about her living at the boardinghouse. I know you two have gotten really close since Jenna died.”

Alaric struggled not to flinch.

* * *

He was in the middle of lecturing his AP World History class when Jeremy burst into the classroom, expression a little frantic.

“Elena’s having the baby,” Jeremy explained breathlessly as twenty-one startled juniors stared at them.

By the time they reached the maternity floor of Mystic Falls General, Elena was already in delivery, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, and Bonnie gathered in the waiting room, the girls having rushed home from their respective colleges. Jeremy and Bonnie embraced, and Alaric was stunned at how completely alone he felt in that moment.

When Stefan emerged from the delivery room, an overjoyed expression on his face, Alaric hated him with such acuity it nearly choked him.

“It’s a boy,” Stefan announced.

Alaric watched as his friends congratulated Stefan on the birth of _his_ son.

* * *

Elena named him Samuel Grayson Gilbert, but she only ever called him Sam.

Four days after they were released from the hospital, Alaric came home to find Elena nursing Sam on the couch. She smiled tiredly at his puzzled expression and, after a few moments, carefully detached Sam from her breast and righted her shirt.

“Sorry. He was hungrier sooner than I thought.”

“It’s okay. I’m just surprised to see you here.”

“I can go,” she offered.

“No,” he immediately objected, “I just meant I thought you’d be too tired to visit so soon.”

“I’m exhausted,” Elena confirmed, “but I thought…You didn’t really get a chance to spend any time with Sam at the hospital and…I thought maybe you’d want to see him.” When he said nothing immediately, she asked, her voice infinitely smaller, “ _Do_ you want to see him?”

Alaric walked around the couch, carefully lifting Sam from his carrier before cradling him against his chest. “Of course,” he murmured, brushing lips against the silky cap of dark hair covering Sam’s head. 

“He’s perfect, huh?” Elena asked as she settled back into the cushions, a smile playing at her lips. “I know I’m a little biased but I kind of can’t stop looking at him.”

He inhaled the sweet scent of baby powder and lotion, his hand comfortingly rubbing Sam’s back when he fussed for a moment, smiling when he calmed. Alaric had imagined being a father so many times, but he had never imagined it being like this, having to hold his son behind closed doors before watching another man – a _vampire_ \- raise him.

“We made him,” Alaric sighed, awe in his voice.

“On a washing machine,” she added with a chuckle.

Alaric couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe we won’t tell him that part of the story.”

They were quiet for a moment, Elena watching as he whispered nonsense to the baby, before she suddenly blurted out, “I don’t regret anything.”

His heart twisted painfully in his chest. Alaric regretted so much of what had transpired in the past year, but what he regretted the most was agreeing to this whole twisted charade.

Sam fell asleep on his chest, and Alaric knew he had made the wrong decision.

* * *

He started spending a lot of time at Jenna’s grave. 

Alaric knew it was wrong, that if Jenna was able to, she’d rise from the grave and kick his ass. But he had no one else to talk to, and Jenna had always been an excellent listener. 

Sometimes, for hours at a time, he would sit and talk to her headstone, rambling about the complicated feelings he had for her niece, crying at his frustration that Klaus had taken her from him, cursing himself for not being a stronger person.

Alaric liked to imagine Jenna was watching out for Jeremy and Elena.

He prayed someone was looking out for him.

* * *

The call came in the middle of a Sunday night, ripping Alaric from slumber as he fumbled for the phone.

“Sam’s sick,” Elena said by way of greeting, panic in her voice, “and I don’t know where Stefan and Damon are or what I’m supposed to do.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” he promised, already halfway to the closet.

Elena was waiting in the driveway, Sam clutched against her chest, and Alaric immediately got out of the car to help her strap him into his car seat. She quickly explained he had woken up with a very high fever and would not stop crying; the pediatrician told her to bring him to the emergency room if his temperature rose, which it had. In the entire time he had known her, Alaric had never seen Elena so scared, and it was her terror more than anything else which ratcheted up his own.

Elena’s hands shook so badly as she attempted to fill out the intake paperwork, Alaric gently took it from her, asking her the questions he didn’t know, completing the father’s medical history portion without thinking. As he returned the clipboard to the nurse, Elena attempted to soothe a screaming Sam, and Alaric could not help but shake as he felt just how hot his head was.

When the doctor finally diagnosed Sam with double ear infections, discussing antibiotics and Tylenol dosages, Elena sagged against him, and Alaric immediately enfolded her in his arms, squeezing her tightly. As the doctor explained they wanted to wait until Sam’s temperature had dropped a bit for releasing him, Elena nodded in understanding as Alaric thanked him.

They piled into the chair beside Sam’s bed, Alaric balancing Elena on his lap, and he idly drew his fingers through her hair as she stroked Sam’s stomach. 

“I was so scared we were going to lose him,” Elena confessed, her eyes trained on the baby. “I thought we were being punished.”

“Punished?” he echoed. “Why would we be punished?”

“Because Jenna – Because we – Because I – “ Elena broke off as tears overtook her.

The rest of her words were lost as Stefan entered their partition, taking Elena into his arms.

* * *

The day Elijah returned to Mystic Falls, Elena and Jeremy signed over the house to Alaric, and Elena moved back in, Sam cradled against her chest, her hands trembling in fear. Before nightfall, everyone was assembled in the Gilbert living room strategizing, and the peace of the past two years was forgotten.

After everyone had left, Alaric remained in the living room with Elena, who vibrated with tension. 

“Everything will be okay,” he promised, knowing it very well could be a lie but knowing he needed to make it anyway.

“I called the lawyer today,” Elena replied. “I had papers drawn up in case something happens.”

“Papers?”

“If anything happens to me, I need to make sure Sam is taken care of, and, if Elijah is here, then Klaus might be coming too. So if I die, you get Sam, and I need you to promise me you will take him as far from Mystic Falls as you can possibly get.”

“Elena – “

“I don’t want him to know this life, and I don’t think you do either. I don’t want him to ever have to use the ring John left me, and I definitely don’t want him to know what it feels like to watch the people he loves die in front of him.” When Alaric said nothing, she added, “I can’t designate Jeremy as his guardian because he’s underage, so if you don’t want him – “

“I want him,” he interrupted fiercely. “Of course I want him. That’s not the issue. I just assumed Stefan – “

“I already talked about it with Stefan, and he understands. So if something happens to me, you’ll take Sam away from here?”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“Ric…”

“I promise.”

Alaric tried not to dwell on the fact that the only way he’d get to be a father to his son, was if Elena died.

* * *

Elena and Jeremy were making dinner when the doorbell rang. Alaric, who was balancing a giggling Sam against his chest, swung open the door and froze at the sight of Elijah standing calmly on the porch.

“Get out of here,” Alaric growled, instinctively turning his body to shield Sam.

“I understand you’re angry but there’s no need for rudeness. I need to speak to Elena.”

“Go to hell.”

Elijah looked at him witheringly before calling Elena’s name. Almost immediately Elena was beside him, her face set in a grim mask. She set a hand upon Alaric’s arm and asked he take Sam into the other room.

“Elena – “

“Ric, please.”

With a sharp sigh, he returned to the kitchen, handing Sam to Jeremy, who held up a hastily scrawled note declaring Bonnie, Stefan, and Damon were on their way. Alaric nodded in understanding, positioning himself so he was able to see Elena and Elijah in the doorway.

Stefan and Damon blew into the backdoor, flanking Elena before Alaric was able to register their presence, and Alaric instructed Jeremy to take Sam into the basement and wait until they told him it was okay. Jeremy looked as if he wanted to protest but he dutifully descended the stairs, Sam happily chattering as he did so.

“This is all unnecessary,” Elijah said mildly as Alaric joined the trio at the door. “I do not mean you any harm, Elena.”

“You can understand why your word isn’t exactly truth worthy, right?” Damon spat.

“I did what I did to regain my family. However, I made you a promise, and I fulfilled it. That’s why I’m here.”

“What do you mean, you fulfilled it?” Stefan pressed.

“Klaus is dead, killed by my own hand just as I swore to you. I’m sorry it was not done as quickly as you would have liked, but it is done.”

“And we’re supposed to just believe you?”

“Of course not. He was disposed of at sea, but Bonnie will be able to perform a spell which will confirm this.” Focusing only on Elena, he said, “I am sorry for what Klaus took from you, and I know this does not right the balance. But I do not mean you or your son any harm.”

Elena’s lower lip began to tremble as she pushed, “He’s _really_ dead?”

Elijah nodded. “You’re free.”

And Elena sank to the floor, tears of relief streaming down her face as the past was finally laid to rest.

* * *

Jeremy found him on the back porch two nights later, a bottle of beer in each hand. Alaric knew he should protest, but he did not have the energy; instead, he accepted the beer as Jeremy sat beside him on the steps. He would turn eighteen at the end of the month, two weeks before he would leave for college, a month before Sam would turn one. Jeremy had changed so much in the past two years, and Ric would miss his company.

After a few minutes of silence, Jeremy looked over at him and asked pointblank, “You’re Sam’s dad, aren’t you?”

Alaric choked on his beer. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he sighed, taking a heavy pull from his bottle.

After regaining his bearings, Alaric inquired, “How long have you known?”

Jeremy shrugged, picking at the label on the bottle. “I always thought something was going on between you two, but I figured it wasn’t really my business. And then, when she got pregnant and was telling everyone it was some random dude, I knew something was up; no matter how fucked up she was after Jenna, she never would’ve done that. Plus Sam looks _exactly_ like you, so it wasn’t exactly rocket science.”

“You’re not pissed?”

“I was fucking furious,” Jeremy corrected, “but it’s too late now. Though I kind of reserve the right to punch you in the face at some point.”

Ric couldn’t help but laugh. “Fair enough.”

“Do you love her?” Jeremy asked as he finished his beer, setting the bottle down on the porch.

“I _can’t_ , Jer.”

“That wasn’t really the question.”

Alaric was afraid of the answer.

* * *

The day Sam called him “Ric” was the day he realized he knew the answer to Jeremy’s question.

He had agreed to baby-sit Sam while Elena had lunch with Caroline and Bonnie before they left for college again, and, as he laid on the living room floor, Sam laughing as he scaled Alaric’s body, Sam plopped down on his chest, hands patting his face as he giggled out, “Ric!”

Until that moment, Alaric hadn’t realized how desperately he wanted Sam to call him “daddy” and how much he didn’t want his son to refer to Stefan that way.

Sam was napping when Elena came home, a sunny smile on her face. Alaric was still as she stretched on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she thanked him for watching Sam.

“He wasn’t too much trouble, was he? He was a wild man yesterday when Stefan watched him.”

Ric shook his head. “Nah, we had a good time. He said my name.”

“Really? Damon’s going to be so pissed; he’s been trying to get him to say his name for weeks now.”

As Elena poured herself a glass of tea, Alaric rose from his seat, taking a deep breath, bracing for what was to come.

“Elena…”

“Yeah?”

“I want to be Sam’s dad.” At her shocked expression, he rushed on, “I love him and I hate that I’m not there all the time, that I don’t get to be his dad, that I have to watch Stefan act like _he_ is.”

“Ric – “

“Jeremy knows,” he cut in. “He knows, and he’s okay with it, and that was the main reason we agreed to this. And I know you love Stefan and I appreciate how he’s been there but – “

“Are you kidding?” Elena asked, her face draining of color. “You wait almost two _years_ to say this and what? You want Sam on weekends? You want him to have your name? What?”

“I want us to be a family.”

Elena’s eyes filled with tears as she backed up, shaking her head. “No, Ric, you can’t…You can’t do this. You can’t _say_ this.”

“I know I should have said it sooner – “

“We can’t be a family! It was never supposed to be _us_!”

Alaric felt the frustration bubbling inside him as he snapped, “But it _is_ us! Okay, this wasn’t how we imagined it. And if Jenna hadn’t died, what happened between us never would’ve happened, and we wouldn’t have Sam. But as terrible as losing her was, maybe this is the good that comes from it.”

“You only want me because I’m part of _them_ ,” she cried.

“That’s not true.” Tentatively stepping towards her, he sighed, “I know you love Stefan, but I think you love me, too, and we could…Don’t we owe it to each ourselves to try?”

Elena shook her head, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. “Ric…”

Heart sinking, he drew back, emotion starting to fill his throat. “I just needed to say it. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand, but I just…I don’t want to be like John, Elena. I don’t my son to call me his uncle.”

As if on cue, Sam began to cry, and Elena hurried up the stairs, leaving Alaric to choke back tears in the kitchen.

* * *

Damon found him at the Grill a few hours later, already so far past the legal level of sobriety at six in the evening there was a very real possibility he would end up in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning.

“So is it true?” Damon asked as he sipped from his own glass of bourbon.

“What?”

“Are you Sam’s mystery father?”

Alaric lifted his head to look at his best friend before dropping his eyes back to the glass in front of him. Tossing it back, he countered, “She tell you?”

“I heard her arguing with Stefan. So it _is_ true.”

He didn’t bother confirming or denying it; he just drank more.

As Damon carried him out of the bar hours later, he grunted, “I know I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: you really are the _worst_ fucking guardian in the history of guardians.”

* * *

Alaric woke up with the worst hangover of his life to find Elena making breakfast in the kitchen and Sam playing on a blanket in the living room. 

As he stumbled to the table, Elena set a heaping plate of greasy bacon and scrambled eggs before him, a large bottle of water in her hand.

“Damon said you’d need this.”

“What are you doing here?” he gritted out, wincing at the spill of sunlight through the window.

“It’s my house. And as of this morning, I live here.”

Alaric froze. “What?”

“I told Stefan the truth. And after the yelling and the crying, we talked about our future for probably the first time _ever_ without death hanging over our heads. And it pretty much came down to…Sam changed everything. I want Sam to have the biggest, best life he can with a big family and the kind of childhood Jeremy and I had, and I can’t give him those things with Stefan. And there’s no way I could be a vampire now and watch Sam get older while I didn’t.”

“What are you saying?”

Sinking into the seat beside him, she shrugged. “I’m saying I’m going to need to a little time. And I don’t know if we’re going to ever be together. But I want to raise Sam with you if you still want that.”

“I want that,” he confirmed.

Elena leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I _do_ love you, Ric. I just don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to love you without feeling guilty.”

Alaric nodded in understanding. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s what I love most about you,” she offered with a shy smile before getting to her feet. 

As Alaric watched Elena scoop Sam off the floor, peppering kisses to his cheeks as she strapped him into his high chair, he knew they were nowhere near puzzling out their future. But she was here and Sam was here, and, for the first time since Jenna died, Alaric felt like maybe there was a chance he could be happy again.

It was a start.


End file.
